i am so tired.
sick and tired of always being sick and tired.
i actually quite like that song, even though i always think anastasia sounds like she's singing through a funnel or something. the bit at the beginning, the chantingesque line of the dude, it's cool. and i love that it's so cliched but sometimes so exactly how i feel.
today belinda said "i can't believe you're going to go on exchange. what am i going to do without you?" and it really surprised me. i don't know why. i feel very helpless. like i can't help others and i can't be helped. i hear about old friends drifting away, for eternity, to infinity, beyond, and all i can do is block it out. stick my fingers in my ears, close my eyes, and hum like a five-year-old. pay extra attention in philosophy (ok, actually pay attention) because if i let it (her, me, the devil, the truth) fill my mind then everything will fall down. and apart. her. me. the world. faith and destiny and all the things that are big and scary and imminent and tiring.
and i have this vehement desire not to go to the one place where everything can be helped, picked up, dusted off, put back together, wiped clean, redeemed. it's perhaps the most frightening desire i've ever experienced.
sick and tired of always being sick and tired.
i actually quite like that song, even though i always think anastasia sounds like she's singing through a funnel or something. the bit at the beginning, the chantingesque line of the dude, it's cool. and i love that it's so cliched but sometimes so exactly how i feel.
today belinda said "i can't believe you're going to go on exchange. what am i going to do without you?" and it really surprised me. i don't know why. i feel very helpless. like i can't help others and i can't be helped. i hear about old friends drifting away, for eternity, to infinity, beyond, and all i can do is block it out. stick my fingers in my ears, close my eyes, and hum like a five-year-old. pay extra attention in philosophy (ok, actually pay attention) because if i let it (her, me, the devil, the truth) fill my mind then everything will fall down. and apart. her. me. the world. faith and destiny and all the things that are big and scary and imminent and tiring.
and i have this vehement desire not to go to the one place where everything can be helped, picked up, dusted off, put back together, wiped clean, redeemed. it's perhaps the most frightening desire i've ever experienced.
alix exploded at 6:44 PM
5 comments:
you dont want to go on exchange....the forms you have to fill out are crazy!!! burying me!!! arrrrgh
your a gem alix, and dont you ever forget it or i will tatoo it on you head!!!
your sis,
ker
found your blog from maverick forum, so i thought why not have a read?
anyways i think five iron frenzy said it better with "i'm broken and misguided, and tired of being tired"
not saying any of that applies to you but it's an infinitly better song than anything anastasia comes up with.
i highly doubt anastasia came up with it, hehe
and that song is very much an aberration of my music tastes...very different to everything i listen to.
i'm not really a big fif fan really--though i know that's blasphemy in some christian circles! ;)
what's your username on the maverick forum?
steveassured, i come and go from the forums.
ps i like the list of bands you have on here about 80% of those would hit my list
ah yes. your band sold pillow cases right? like the coolest merch ever :)
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