i can feel myself grow older
inch by inch, creeping up in maturity.
sure, i still stay up too late and say stupid words like 'rad' and jump around in mosh pits and get excited over pretty shoes and revel in the irresponsibility afforded by independence
nonetheless
i can feel myself getting taller with wisdom.

but wisdom is a shadowy beast.
it shows itself most clearly through someone else's rear-view mirror.

and clarity, even misplaced, likes to assume its identity
put on its mask
dress itself up
new-found certainty, some decision made, can masquerade as wisdom effortlessly. seamlessly. boastfully.
and you are left to wait til you're seated in the passenger seat of a friend's car before you can tell the two apart.

i'm scared.
but i think i've already decided.