the last few weeks have been the best time of my life. no doubt. hands down. i'm floating on beached days and christmas partied nights. i have poetry written for me every night, i eat porridge every morning. i've started cleaning my room, and although it's still an explosion it will get done and i will have the space to draw pretty pictures, bead long necklaces, dance around like a little kid, and write like crazy. i will put up posters of jeff buckley and the cat empire, and pictures of smiles and crinkled eyes and sunlight. i go to bed late and i wake up just before midday. i've started swimming again, just a little, and i've remembered how good it feels to train well. i'm crawling through a pile of novels and christian literature begging to be swallowed whole. i'm playing cds on repeat. i'm beginning to understand why so many songs are about love. i'm lying awake at night unable to sleep, as per usual, but it's no longer because i'm worrying and over-analyzing--it's because i can't get the boy out of my head. and the best thing is that his head is full of me, too. if my life was a cartoon then this episode would be littered with messy little red and pink hearts suspended in midair.